GC Women's Ministries Newsletter June 2002
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Editorial . . .A Matter of Accountability |
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by Mary
Maxson |
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Abuse- A Monumental Challenge
As I was listening to Ana, she shared with me what had happened to her in years past while she was young. Now Ana is in an abusive relationship and doesn't know what to do with her life. She's pleaded with me, "Mary, what can I do?" As I cried with her, and prayed with her, my heart ached with her as I agonized how to help her.
Eva, with whom I'd just become acquainted, shared a similar story. However, as she worked with her conference president, the same old feelings of betrayal and spiritual abuse erupted. She couldn't hear what he was saying because of the unresolved sexual abuse she previously experienced.
This is some of the domestic violence data (USA only) which Sharon Pittman, Ph.D., Department of Social Work, Andrews University shared with me.
Child Abuse and the Church
- Too often, Scripture has been used to justify the abuse of children.
- Within church members, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 16.
- 75-95% of the time a child knows their abuser.
- Families are often asked to keep abuse private.
- Children have been taught to "honor" their parents and other adults, even when it hurts.
Spousal Abuse
- More than 50% of all women will experience violence from an intimate partner.
- Wife beating results in more inquires requiring medical treatment than rape, auto accidents, and muggings combined.
- Thirty percent of women murdered are killed by spouse or boyfriend.
- Increasingly, men are becoming victims of spousal violence.
Spousal Abuse and the Church
- Christian women are compelled to stay in abusive relationships.
- Abused women/men often feel abandoned by God.
- Spouses are often encouraged by clergy to "live peaceably," not agitating their partner to abuse.
Why am I writing about this difficult topic which ofttimes we discuss behind doors? In the last three years as NADWM director, I've been confronted by women who come and pour out their hearts to me on this topic.
Within the U.S., estimates range from 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend per year to 4 million women who are physically abused by their husbands or live in partners per year. Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, U.S. Department of Justice, March, 1998.
What can we do to help these precious women?
Suggestions shared by Dr. Sharon Pittman:
Make a Difference!
- Believe the victim
- Ensure immediate safety (plan)
- Stay calm
- Assess volatility of the situation
- Protect yourself appropriately
- Know anger management/negotiating skills
- Respect victim's choices
- Protect confidentiality to ensure safety
- Hold abusers accountable
- Seek restoration, where possible
- Allow for grief and loss
- Respect family and religious concerns
- Offer spiritual support as desired
- Never excuse abuse as cultural
- Encourage same-gender support
- Seek support services for the family/victim
- Support civic responses that protect the vulnerable
- Contact your government for a national phone number or web site.
- Educate, educate, educate!
May each of us become
more aware of how we can educate ourselves and our pastors and our administrators
in how we can become part of the solution to this monumental challenge.
The Resource Packets
for Women's Emphasis Day June 8, 2002 and Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day
August 24, 2002 are
available on our website: http://wm.gc.adventist.org/
You can print these materials and also browse through our website for other WM related information.