Because domestic violence affects women, it is of vital interest to Women's Ministries. This means that we need to be more educated on the topic, more aware of the implications, and more prepared to meet the needs of the women in our congregations. It means that we need to talk about domestic violence.

Some definitions
Physical abuse: behaviors such as shoving, pushing, restraining, hitting, kicking, pulling hair,  choking, cutting, burning, slapping, punching, etc.

Psychological or emotional abuse: consistent and harsh criticism, degrading, disparaging name calling, verbal threats, episodes of rage, depreciation of character and person, isolation from family and friends, forced financial dependence, intimidation, control over where the partner can go and what she can do, etc.

Sexual abuse: any forcing of sexual acts which are unwanted or declined. Includes, incest, molestation, rape, forced prostitution, oral/genital contact, fondling of genitals or breasts. Done by anyone in position of authority: parent, older relative, pastor, teacher or other person in a position of trust, etc.

Religion to blame
First, the church must admit that abuse exists in the church as well as society, and that domestic violence is wrong. Unfortunately, religion is much to blame for a great deal of abuse because we have not correctly interpreted Ephesians 5: many women have heard, "Wives, submit to your husbands," but they have not read the rest of the passage which says husbands are to love as Christ loves the church. Ellen White, comments, "Neither the husband nor the wife should attempt to exercise over the other an arbitrary control. Do not try to compel each other to yield to your wishes. You cannot do this and retain each other's love." Daughters of God, p. 182.

It is relatively recent that the church has addressed the topic of abuse. It still is not spoken of much from the pulpit. But scripture speaks of abuse. One of the reasons God flooded the earth was that it was "full of violence" (Gen. 6:11). We are told, however, that in heaven, "no longer will violence be heard in your land" (Isa. 60:18).

God hates abuse
God says He hates violence (Ps. 11:5). Furthermore, He instructs that the leaders of his church must be "temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money" (1 Tim. 3:3, 4).

Violence against another is a sin. "Therefore pride is their necklace, they clothe themselves with violence. From their callous hearts comes iniquity; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits. They scoff and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression. Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth" (Ps. 73:6-9).

Ellen White tells us that, "The exercise of force is contrary to the principles of God's government; He desires only the service of love; and love cannot be commanded; it cannot be won by force or authority. Only by love is love awakened. To know God is to love Him; His character must be manifested in contrast to the character of Satan." Desire of Ages, p. 22.

No domestic violence in heaven
Mrs. White also says repeatedly that our homes now should be a reflection of our home in heaven. There will be no abuse there. "Let them remember that the home on earth is to be a symbol of and a preparation for the home in heaven. Ministry of Healing, p. 363.

Again, she says, "Home should be made all that the word implies. It should be a little heaven upon earth, a place where the affections are cultivated instead of being studiously repressed. Our happiness depends upon this cultivation of love, sympathy, and true courtesy to one another." Adventist Home, p. 15.

Domestic Violence: What My Church Can Do About It?

As long as the church is quiet in a world which resonates with the cries of abused women, it is failing in its ministry of reconciliation. It is simply functioning as sounding brass, a clanging cymbal.
-- Battered into Submission.

The first way to address the problem of abuse is to talk about it. Ask your pastor to preach a sermon on domestic violence. Teach a seminar. Put items in your church bulletin. Support a project for the local women's shelter.

Ask the one offering the morning prayer to remember the victims of abuse in the prayer. One former victim, now heading a task force for battered women in her rural area, tells pastors in the ministerial associations she addresses to pray at the end of each service for "homes where there is violence, homes where women and children are abused." It gets the church familiar with the words 'battered woman' so they aren't so afraid of them.

Make available to your church the set of bulletin inserts available from our office or through Family Ministries on abuse.

Talk to the church board/pastors/ youth groups, about abuse. Encourage your local church to formulate a statement regarding abuse. The South Pacific Division issued a statement that says, "To remain indifferent and unresponsive is to condone, perpetuate, and possibly extend family violence." That is true also for the local church.

We need to teach our children. We must teach our sons and daughters that they do not deserve abuse. Ever. A California study showed that 27% of high school students had experienced some form of violence while dating. Our daughters must understand that a boyfriend who abuses will be a husband who abuses. We must teach our children how decisions are made and who makes them. They must know what 'rights' they have in a relationship; they must be taught conflict resolution and communication.

We must teach our young girls to trust themselves in their decisions and to value their own perceptions.

As women we must learn to respect ourselves and model that. We are in fact the temple of God and no one should be allowed to abuse us in any way. As part of that, we need Bible study as to the role of men and women in the Lord.

We must listen, and believe, and help our church leaders to do the same. In the past, the normal response to a woman suffering abuse was, "Pray about it." Prayer is good, but it is not enough from leadership. If someone's life is in danger, action is necessary.

Know what facilities are available in your community. You must know good counselors to whom you can refer people. You must know what social and legal support systems are available.

As a church we are to work toward the ideal. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing.... They will know that I am the Lord, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them.... They will live in safety, and no one will make them afraid. Ezek 34:26-28.

A few resources:
Battered into Submission: The Tragedy of Wife Abuse in the Christian Home. James and Phyllis Alsdurf. InterVarsity Press, 1989.

Peace and Healing; Making Homes Abuse-free. By Karen and Ron Flowers, with Audray Johnson, Elaine and Willie Oliver, 1997. Available through your Family Ministries Department. A video will soon also be available.

Understanding Intimate Violence. Barbara Couden, Editor. Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1999.

Understanding Sexual Abuse. Kit Watts, Editor, 1995. Available from our office.

Seventh-day Adventists affirm the dignity and worth of each human being and decry all forms of physical, sexual and emotional abuse and family violence.

We recognize the global extent of this problem and the serious, long-term effects upon the lives of all involved. We believe that Christians must respond to abuse and family violence both within the church and in the community. We take seriously reports of abuse and violence and have highlighted these issues for discussion at this international assembly. We believe that to remain indifferent and unresponsive is to condone, perpetuate, and potentially extend such behavior.

We accept our responsibility to cooperate with other professional services, to listen and care for those suffering from abuse and family violence, to highlight the injustices, and to speak out in defense of victims. We will help persons in need to identify and access the range of available professional services.

When changed attitudes and behavior open possibilities for forgiveness and new beginnings, we will provide a ministry of reconciliation. We will assist families in grief over relationships that cannot be restored. We will address the spiritual questions confronting abused persons, seeking to understand the origins of abuse and family violence and developing better ways of preventing the recurring cycle.

This statement was approved and voted by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists Administrative Committee (ADCOM) and was released by the Office of the President, Robert S. Folkenberg, at the General Conference session in Utrecht, the Netherlands, June 29-July 8, 1995.

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2001 WM Devotional Book Manuscript Is Submitted To Publisher

Notification Letters Sent to Authors

The devotional book manuscript for 2001 was sent to the Review and Herald Publishing ssociation on August 2 for its final editing.

Letters were sent out from GCWM to all women who submitted devotionals for consideration. If you submitted material and have not yet received a letter, perhaps we do not have a correct address for you. Please contact us with updated information. Also, if your biographical information has had major changes, please send our department a new one.

For those who want to submit material for the 2002 devotional book, the guidelines remain the same. If you need a copy, contact us.

Please, send your devotional submissions to us at any time during the year. The Review and Herald is giving us earlier deadlines for 2002 and 2003 for delivering our final manuscripts, so we would especially appreciate receiving material before the end of this year. This would allow ample editing time. Thank you.