Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008
Resource Packet
Abuse of Power
written by
Ardis and Dick Stenbakken
Prepared by the General Conference
Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day Committee
Adventist
Chaplaincy Ministries
Children’s
Ministries
Education
Department
Family
Ministries
Health
Ministries
Ministerial
Association
Women’s
Ministries
Youth
Ministries
March
2008
Joyful
greetings to each of you. Once again we are preparing for another Abuse
Prevention Emphasis Day. For some of you this may be your first time that your
church is observing this very important day. To you we say a special thank you
for making the time in your church schedule to bring the very important topic
of abuse to our brothers and sisters.
For
those of you who have observed this day in the past we say a special thank you
for continuing to keep the emphasis on a problem that can only be helped as we
speak out more and more.
Our
theme for this year is “Abuse of Power.” This year we have again chosen to
handle a topic that is too infrequently spoken about but one that is present in
our church. How do those in power and leadership relate to church members? Many
have had painful experiences that they may have never spoken about but that nonetheless
need to be addressed.
The
packet this year was prepared by General Conference Women’s Ministries
Department in conjunction with Adventist Chaplaincy Ministries, Adventist
Review, Children’s Ministries, Education Department, Family Ministries, Health
Ministries, Ministerial Association, and Youth Ministries.
In
this packet you will find:
As
usually we have given you a variety of information for your choosing. As a
church leader you are free to add to or substitute material that pertains to
your country.
At
the General Conference this is a team effort and so we ask that as a church
leader you include other departments in your church as you observe this day.
We,
at the General Conference, pray for the success of this day. We pray that God
will give you the boldness you may need to address this topic that He will
bless your team and the plans you make. Most of all we pray for the lives of
those who will be blessed because someone has acknowledged their pain and
extended a hand of love to them.
Love
and joy,
Heather-Dawn
Small
Director
About the Authors:
Ardis and Dick Stenbakken
are a retired pastoral couple who have a wide back-ground in church and family
ministry. Ardis has a BA and MEd in English and secondary education. Dick has
Masters Degrees in Theology and Philosophy; New Testament Studies; Family
Therapy; Family and Community Education; and a Doctor of Education in Family and
Community Education. Dick served as an active duty Adventist chaplain in the US
Army for almost 24 years; during this time he did thousands of hours of family
and personal counseling. Ardis taught English and was involved in women’s and
community issues. From 1992 to 2004 Dick was Director of Adventist Chaplaincy
Ministries at the General Conference. Ardis served as Associate Director of
Women’s Ministries from 1995 to 1997, and then as Director until the end of
2004. They have taught courses in pastoral sexual ethics at
Abuse of Power
Packet
Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008
Sabbath Worship Service: You will note that the sermon suggests that you
have some visuals for illustration. It is also suggested that the person
presenting the sermon “make it their own.” In other words, if you can add
personal experience, local stores, local statistics, or other material which
will make the sermon more meaningful and personal for your congregation, by all
means, use them!
Suggested
Opening Hymn of Praise: “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee,” Seventh-day Adventist
Hymnal #12
A children’s
story is included. The majority of it is directly quoted from the Bible.
Scripture
Closing
Hymn: “Not I, But Christ,” Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal # 570.
Seminar:
The seminar consists of two parts: one is additional information regarding the
abuse of power. The other section is vignettes; you will want to divide your
group into smaller groups of probably 4-5 persons each to discuss the cases.
Each group should be assigned to discuss one area of abuse. Each group will
look at the two vignettes for their area, and chose one or them to discuss. You should allow about 5 minutes for
discussion and then about 15 minutes for the groups to report their discussion
to the larger group. Individual groups should be held to about 2 minutes each
for their reports.
Abuse of Power
Responsive
Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you
to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a
living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable.
This is truly the way to worship him.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world,
but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.
Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which
is good and pleasing and perfect.
Because
of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this
warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your
evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.
Just
as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is
with Christ’s body.
We are
many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.
In
his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So
if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as
God has given you.
If
your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well.
If
your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give
generously.
If God
has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously.
And
if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
Don’t
just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly
to what is good.
Love
each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
Never
be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.
Rejoice
in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
When
God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice
hospitality.
Bless
those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.
Be
happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.
Live
in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary
people. And don’t think you know it all!
Never
pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you
are honorable.
Do
all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
Dear
friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the
Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says
the Lord.
Instead,
“If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them
something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on
their heads.”
Don’t
let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
—Romans 12:1-21, New Living
Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust.
Abuse of Power
Children’s
Story
Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008
Do you remember the story of
David in the Bible? He was the one who killed the giant Goliath with a sling
and a stone.
David became king of
Because David was usually a
good person, disobeying God must have hurt his conscience. But he didn’t do
anything about it. He just went on acting like he had not done anything wrong.
And more and more people talked about it, and began to think David was not such
a good person after all.
Finally, God sent his
prophet Nathan to talk to David. But instead of just telling David that he had
sinned and hurt people, Nathan told him a story.
Nathan said that a rich man and a poor man
lived in the same town. The rich man owned a lot of sheep and cattle, but the
poor man had only one little lamb that he had bought and raised. The lamb
became a pet for him and his children. He even let it eat from his plate and
drink from his cup and sleep on his lap. The lamb was like one of his own children.
They all loved that lamb.
One day someone came to visit the rich man,
and the rich man wanted to have a dinner for his guest. But the rich man didn't
want to kill any of his own sheep or cattle and serve it to the visitor. So he
stole the poor man's little lamb, and killed it, and cooked it, and served it
instead. He used his power to take away the poor man’s little lamb.
King David was furious with the rich man and
said to Nathan, "I swear by the living LORD that the man who did this
deserves to die! And because he didn't have any pity on the poor man, he will
have to pay four times what the lamb was worth."
Then Nathan told David: “You are that rich
man! Now listen to what the LORD God of
Then Nathan told David that he would have a
lot of trouble and unhappiness because of his sin. You see, when anyone uses
his or her power to take advantage of anyone else, God is displeased; people,
even boys and girls, can be hurt. And even the person who hurts them suffers
just like David did. I am glad that David said, "I have disobeyed the
LORD." He was sorry for his sin, and asked God to forgive him. And of
course God did as He always does for us. But that did not change the fact that
people were hurt. So let’s be careful how we use power. Sometimes bigger or
stronger children will push other children around or call them names. Or make
fun of someone different. That hurts. And sometimes big people who have power
try to hurt little children. If someone tries to do that, you need to say,
“No!” and go tell an adult you trust. Jesus wants us to do only things that
make us and others feel good, not bad.
Let’s pray that we will each use our power
only to help others.
—2
Samuel 12, adapted from the Contemporary English Version. Copyright ©
1995 by American Bible Society.
Abuse of Power
Seminar
Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008
It would be well for the presenter to have local or
national statistics to share as well as knowledge of local laws, and perhaps
current local cases.
It is also important to note that neither the sermon
nor the seminar cover all that there is to be said on this topic; for instance,
very little is said about restoration or punishment—there is just not enough
time. The South Pacific Division has policy and a committee to handle sexual
misconduct and abuse in the church. Other divisions may have similar
resources—you can contact your division Women’s Ministries or Family Ministries
for information. A good web site for more information is http://www.thehopeofsurvivors.com/default.asp.
It deals primarily with pastoral misconduct, but much of it is applicable to
other situations as well. A good book on sexual abuse of power is Sex in the Forbidden Zone by Peter Rutter, Fawcett, 1991.
The subject of abuse of
power is a large subject with many ramifications. In the sermon on the abuse of
power also prepared for this day we particularly looked at the biblical story
of the sin of David and Bathsheba. But there are many other stories and there
are many aspects to this problem. There is the problem itself, what the abuse
of power means, how the problem is dealt with so that the problem does not
become bigger, what to do about the problem, and how to affect restoration. Both
the victim and the abuser need ministry. And if the abuse occurs in the church
there are often people who do not believe it has happened and take sides, and
often the church itself suffers.
Types of Abuse of Power:
So,
what are the elements of power, and who has power? In all cases of abuse of
power, abuse takes place when a person takes advantage of a person or group for
the benefit of the abuser.
·
Positional. The
use of one’s position, education, status, to command/demand compliance of
others without their consent. See Luke 3:14 where John the Baptist tells
soldiers to NOT use their position to exploit others.
Some of these positions
are:
o
Pastor
o
Lawyer
o
Teacher
o
Coach
o
Caregiver
o
Doctor
o
Therapist
o
Church leaders
o
Youth and
Pathfinder leaders
o
Boss/VIP/political
o
Husbands/wives
o
Parents
·
Economic—the use
or misuse of money and trust in managing funds; the person wields power because
they have the money—they are looked up to, or they control things or events
with their money by either giving or withholding it. Texts: Acts 5:1-12—Ananias
and Sapphira; James 5; Deuteronomy 8:18.
·
Influence. This
may be because they have written a book, are a member of a certain group, force
of personality, etc.
·
Physical. Usually
the use of size, strength and or physical strength to force compliance. This is
perhaps obvious—if you are bigger or stronger than I, you have power over me.
Texts: Numbers 22:22-27: Balaam beats his donkey; Genesis 37: Joseph’s brothers
sell him to slavery. 2 Samuel 13:14: “and since he was stronger than she, he
raped her.”
·
Informational. A
person often has power over another if they have information that the other
lacks or needs. This is particularly true in church leadership. If you are on the
inside path of information, you can control events and people.
·
Psychological
and Emotional. The use of emotions
to dominate, shame, manipulate, or
control others. Ephesians 6:4: Do not exasperate your children; Genesis 2:1-7:
Satan/Eve/Adam intimidating lies = pressure.
·
Spiritual. Use of spiritual influence or
position to command, demand, demean, or force someone into a belief or
behavior. Texts: John 11:49: Caiaphas, “You know nothing at all!”
·
Sexual. Exploitation of another for personal
sexual gratification. The abuse by these individuals may be in the form of
sexual abuse, incest, molestation, or sexual harassment. Note: In many
countries there are strong legal guidelines on reporting, and potentially
severe legal penalties for this kind of abuse, especially the abuse of minor
children. Texts: 1 Samuel 2:22-25: Eli’s sons; or 2 Samuel 11: David and
Bathsheba.
In
all of these cases, the person with the power is also the one who should be
held responsible for the situation—not the victim. Stephen Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,
has what he calls the proactive model.
This means that “as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives.
Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.” Then he goes
on to say, “Look at the word responsibility—‘response-ability’—the
ability to choose your response”[1]
What this clarifies is that the person with the power is the one with the
responsibility, and cannot say, “Well, she/he tempted me,” or as in the case of
Bathsheba and David, we cannot blame her. David was king and the one
responsible. If this were not so, we should have had Psalm 51, a prayer of
repentance, from Bathsheba, not David. But he knew he was in the wrong, and so
did the prophet Nathan. In fact, 2 Samuel 11:27 says, “But the thing David had
done displeased the Lord.”
The
pastor, the teacher, the therapist, the Pathfinder leader—whatever person is in
charge—is the one responsible and accountable. Larry Spielman says, “The
leader’s role produces an implicit trust between the leader and those over whom
the leader has power. The leader must not use this sacred trust for personal
gratification. The power differential between King and subject, or leader and
follower, makes the person with the less power vulnerable to exploitation.”[2]
Some facts we need to know about the
abuse of power:
·
Perhaps the most
important fact to always remember is that the one in power—power of any type—is
the one who is responsible.
·
We will not be
judged by what temptations people put in front of us, but by our response.
·
Inappropriate
sexual contact with a person of the opposite or same sex is sin, even among
consenting adults. This might involve child molestation, adultery,
homosexuality, sexual harassment, voyeurism, and other types of inappropriate
sexual contact. These sins should not occur among Christians, but they do. When
one of the individuals has power (the pastor, church leader, teacher, doctor,
etc.) that person always is the responsible one and will need to be held accountable.
·
If you hear of an
abuse case, don’t express disbelief. Unfortunately, things like that do happen,
even in our church.
·
When any type of abuse occurs, the objective from that point on is
restoration. This involves such components as confrontation, confession,
repentance, personal counseling, marriage or family counseling, and
accountability groups. The restoration process is not easy and it takes time.
In not all cases is restoration possible or appropriate.
·
“According to Robert Shoop, a
·
When sexual misconduct occurs, the church needs to adopt specific
procedures. On one hand, stating specific actions can be helpful. But on the
other hand, being too specific can make it impossible to follow the adopted
procedure in every case. Failure to follow adopted procedures can result in
litigation.
·
Every individual
involved with children should complete a volunteer application form and undergo
appropriate background checks. ARM (Adventist Risk Management) has guidelines
to help pastors on how to deal with staff and volunteers.
·
If you become
aware of abuse by any church leader, a quick response is vital. Contact, the
Conference, Adventist Risk Management, and your attorney.
·
Remember that
regardless of the accusation, the mission of the church must be to protect the
abused, to listen to the victim, and to cooperate with the authorities.
·
If you are a
church leader and someone comes to you for counseling, unless what they tell
you is illegal, you must keep the confidence. To share what you hear with
anyone else in the church can ruin your ministry and their spiritual walk.
·
“Another factor
misinterprets the gospel mandate to forgive sinners. Thus, pastoral sexual
misconduct is viewed more as a moral lapse than as a betrayal of professional
trust. Of course, this ignores the Savior’s directive that those who harm
little ones should be severely, even irretrievably, punished. Remember, sexual
misconduct is seldom a need for a sexual relationship as much as it is an abuse
of power and position.” —“Organizational Misconduct,” James A. Cress, September
2002, Ministry magazine.
·
How do you make church leader misconduct in the congregation worse? By
responding in the wrong ways. The problem of pastoral misconduct affects all
denominations. The Presbyterian Church estimates that up to 23% of its clergy
have at some time engaged in “inappropriate sexual behavior or inappropriate
sexual contact.” In the year 2000, every Catholic Diocese in
·
Author Naomi Wolf was sexually harassed as an undergraduate at
Steps for the One in Power to Use to Avoid Falling Into Sin:
If
you are one of the persons with power, particularly one of those in a power
position, you need to take steps to make sure you do not fall into causing
abuse. Unfortunately, many who have caused abuse felt that they were not vulnerable—they
didn’t even need to take precautions. But anyone can fall into trouble if safety
measures are not taken. To help protect yourself, here are steps you should
take.
o
Have an accountability partner or group and meet with them regularly
and honestly.
o
Leave the office door open and the window in it uncovered.
o
Keep your desk between you and your counselee at all times as a
physical barrier.
o
Avoid even
casual physical contacts
o
Counsel only
with couples or with members of the same sex (men counsel with men, women
counsel with women).
o
Never assume
that you are invincible. Given the wrong circumstances, every pastor [or other
person in power] is vulnerable to temptation, sin and the abuse of power.[6]
And if you are dealing with one of these persons in
power, you should check to see that they are taking steps to protect you.
The
Importance of Church Discipline[7]
Most
churches assume that they will never have a case of abuse and therefore have no
plans as to how to take care of the problem. One of the most common ways of
dealing with a problem of abuse of power has been to sweep it under the rug.
But dealing with the abuser is vitally important. Here are some texts to look
at: “Discipline is not optional. It is
mandatory in Scripture.”
“Matthew
18:15-20 teaches that a sinner is to
be confronted, reproved and, if they refuse to repent, excluded from the
church.
“Acts
5:1-11 illustrates the seriousness
of sin within the church, the sensitivity of the Holy Spirit to sin, and the
quick judgment of God upon sin.
“1
Corinthians 5:1-5 teaches that the
church's response to persistent, unrepentant sin is to grieve, deliberate,
judge the sin, and exclude the unrepentant member.
“1
Thessalonians 5:14 commands us to
warn the disobedient and the disorderly.
“2
Thessalonians 3:6-15 teaches us to
warn the undisciplined brother and withdraw from him.
“1
Timothy 5:20 tells us to rebuke
persistent sin publicly.
“Titus
1:13 says to severely reprove those
who teach untruth.
“Titus
3:10 commands us to withdraw from a
person who causes divisions, but only after adequate warning.
“Revelation
2-3 calls churches to repentance and warns of impending discipline if they
refuse.
“These passages make it
clear that God intends the church to take corrective measures when members
persist in sinning.”
A Few Ellen White Statements Regarding
the Abuse of Power:
“Many who profess to be
the ministers of Christ are like the sons of Eli who ministered in the sacred
office and took advantage of their office to engage in crime and commit
adultery, causing the people to transgress the law of God. A fearful account
will such have to render when the cases of all shall pass in review before God,
and they be judged according to the deeds done in the body…. Adultery is one of
the terrible sins of this age. This sin exists among professed Christians of
every class….” —The Sin of Licentiousness, Testimonies on Sexual Behaviour, Adultery,
and Divorce (1989), 99.2.
“As God has shown
me how abhorrent in His sight are these defiling sins, and as they are steadily
increasing in our world and would intrude into our churches, I warn you to give
no place to the devil. Fly from the seducer.
Though a minister, he is Satan in the form of a man. He has borrowed the livery of heaven that he may serve his
master and deceive souls.” —The Sin of
Licentiousness, Testimonies
on Sexual Behaviour, Adultery, and Divorce (1989), 105.2.
“The worst
feature in this case is that all his satanic work is done under pretense of
being a representative of Jesus Christ. One sinner dressed up as an angel of
light can do incalculable harm. Dark and
fearful plans are deliberately made to separate man and wife. Said the apostle: ‘Of this sort are they which creep into
houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers
lusts.’ (2 Timothy 3:6) These licentious characters even creep into respectable
families and by their deceptive wiles and intrigues lead astray the
conscientious. Damnable heresies are received as truth, and the most revolting
sins committed as acts of righteousness, for conscience becomes confused and
stupefied.” —Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 5
“The world has nearly filled
up the measure of their iniquity, but that which will bring the heaviest
retribution is the practice of iniquity under the cloak of godliness…” —Counsels to Parents,
Teachers, and Students, page
256, paragraph 3
“We can subdue our children
only as we subdue ourselves. But there are so many parents who have brought
with them into the home life their hereditary and cultivated tendencies to
wrong. They have not left their childishness behind. They scold their children
for things which should never be noticed. Parents, never scold your children.
Deal firmly but kindly with them. Keep them busy. Make them feel that they are
a part of the family firm, that they can help mother and father. Thank them for
what they do for you.” —That I May Know
Him, 149.5.
“A preacher may be dealing
in sacred, holy things, and yet not be holy in heart. He may give himself to
Satan to work wickedness and to corrupt the souls and bodies of his flock.
Yet if the minds of women
and youth professing to love and fear God were fortified with His Spirit, if
they had trained their minds to purity of thought and educated themselves to
avoid all appearance of evil, they would be safe from any improper advances and
be secure from the corruption prevailing around them. The apostle Paul wrote
concerning himself: "But I keep under my body, and bring it into
subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself
should be a castaway."
“If a minister of the gospel does not
control his baser passions, if he fails to follow the example of the apostle
and so dishonors his profession and faith as to even name the indulgence of
sin, our sisters who profess godliness should not for an instant flatter
themselves that sin or crime loses its sinfulness in the least because their
minister dares to engage in it. The fact that men who are in responsible places
show themselves to be familiar with sin should not lessen the guilt and
enormity of the sin in the minds of any. Sin should appear just as sinful, just
as abhorrent, as it had been heretofore regarded; and the minds of the pure and
elevated should abhor and shun the one who indulges in sin, as they would flee
from a serpent whose sting was deadly.”
“If the sisters were elevated and possessed
purity of heart, any corrupt advances, even from their minister, would be
repulsed with such positiveness as would never need a repetition. Minds must be
terribly befogged by Satan when they can listen to the voice of the seducer
because he is a minister, and therefore break God's plain and positive commands
and flatter themselves that they commit no sin. Have we not the words of John:
‘He that saith, I know Him, and keepeth not His commandments, is a liar, and
the truth is not in him’? What saith the law? ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery.’
When a man professing to keep God's holy law, and ministering in sacred things,
takes advantage of the confidence his position gives him and seeks to indulge
his base passions, this fact should of itself be sufficient to enable a woman
professing godliness to see that, although his profession is as exalted as the
heavens, an impure proposal coming from him is from Satan disguised as an angel
of light. I cannot believe that the word of God is abiding in the hearts of
those who so readily yield up their innocency and virtue upon the altar of
lustful passions. —Testimonies for the
Church, Vol. 2, pages 456-57
Discussion vignettes:
There are many stories of
the misuse and abuse of power which are recorded for our warning and learning
in the Bible. One of the saddest and most complete illustrations of multiple
types of the abuse of power at several levels can be found in 1 Samuel chapters
2 through 4.
(As a workshop leader, read these chapters in advance, and mark some of
the texts which illustrate the multiple abuses catalogued in the chapters.)
(Below you will find a list of specific texts, and
the issues of abuse they illustrate. You may wish to challenge the group to
look for, find, and list the various kinds of abuse they can find. If you do it
that way, it would be helpful to list the text and the abuse issue on a board,
overhead, or some other way so that all can see the textual reference and the
abuse as they are uncovered. This will help fix the story and warnings in the
minds of participants).
2:3 “The
Lord is a God who knows and by him deeds are weighed.” (This sets the stage for the warnings to be gained from what follows)
2:9, 10 “It is not by strength that one prevails.
Those who oppose the Lord will be shattered. (Again, this is a warning and an introduction to what will be shared)
2:12 “Eli’s sons had no regard
for (did not know) the Lord.” (In other words they were not real. They
were fakes pretending to be religious leaders; religious abuse)
2:12-16 They intimidated the people and essentially
robbed them. They had no regard for the people (positional and religious abuse)
2:17 The abusive behavior is
labeled as sin.
2:22-25 They had no regard for the women who served at the temple. The used their
position to be sexually and religiously abusive. (positional, sexual and religious abuse)
1 Samuel 3:1 The abusive atmosphere and activity was
directly related to a spiritual decline and lack of connection with God. “In
those days the word of the Lord was rare;
there were not many visions.” (Such is the result of abuse on the entire
community, not just on those directly involved)
1 Samuel 4:10 The losses sustained by the community
were great, indeed
30,000 fell in battle
The Ark of God was captured
Eli’s two sons and leaders died
4:18 Eli dies when he hears the negative
news