We have tried to give you as much information as
necessary so that you can be well informed about this problem of abuse of the
elderly.
Feel free to adapt the material to fit your local
preferences. We ask that you include other departments in your church to
promote and present this program. At the General Conference nine departments
work together to prepare this material (as listed on the cover of this program)
and we are all committed to helping the vulnerable, unprotected and those in
pain—whether emotional or physical—in our church and the wider community.
Our prayers are with you and we know that God will
bless you and your congregations as you worship on this day.
Love and joy,
Heather-Dawn Small
Director
A Suggested Order of
Service
Prelude
Call to Worship
Invocation
Hymn of Praise
Scripture
Offering
Prayer for the offering and the pastoral prayer
Children’s Story:
Special Music
Sermon:
Abuse of the Elderly “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother”
Hymn of Response:
Benediction
‘Sharing the Peace’ Blessing
(In a ‘Sharing the Peace’ Blessing members of the
congregation move around shaking each other’s hands saying ‘May the peace of
God be with you, and protect you’.)
Postlude
Sermon
Abuse of the Elderly “Honor
Thy Father and Thy Mother”
Introduction
The story is told of a young man who treated his
parents in a very devious manner. When his parents were of an age when they
could no longer work and needed his care and sustenance, he said to them, “I
will not look after you. I am giving the money I would use to help you to the
church; and because it is for God, I will not be dishonoring you, and I will be
blessed.”
Can you imagine the shock on the faces of this couple
as their son said these words to them? Who would look after them, pay for their
medical bills, their food and shelter. And all this was being done in the name
of religion! How could he feel that giving this money to God would be a blessing
to him?
What would you say to this young man? Well, let me
share with you what Jesus said; you can read this entire story in Mark 7:5-13.
Jesus exposed the Pharisees as being self-centered and having no love for the
very people they served. That they would excuse a child from the responsibility
of caring for their parents by giving the money to the church was inexcusable.
Jesus referred to it as honoring Him with our lips and not with our hearts.
The
fifth commandment states “Honor thy father and thy mother that thy days may be
long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” Exodus 20:12 KJV.
The
Amplified Bible gives us a clearer understanding of this text. It reads “Regard
(treat with honor, due obedience, and courtesy) your father and mother, that
your days may be long in the land the Lord your God gives you.” Exodus 20:12
Familiar
words to many of us. We learned them at church school or maybe Pathfinders or
maybe it was a memory verse in children’s Sabbath school. When you think of
this text, what does it mean to you? “Honor your father and your mother.”
I
want to share with you today a problem that is becoming more prevalent in
countries around the world. And this is not a problem that is limited to any
particular country, culture, race or class of people; this is a problem that
stretches beyond each of these boundaries.
Over
the years on Abuse Prevention Emphasis day we have shared information on child
abuse, spousal abuse, caring for those who have been abused, and protecting the
abused. On this day, however, we would like to focus on a different type of
abuse—one that is a growing problem. And that is the problem of abuse of the
elderly.
Now
I know some of you may be saying to yourselves, “Abuse of the elderly, what is
that?” Or you may be saying, “There’s no such thing as abuse of the elderly.
Who would abuse an old person?” But let me share with you some information
about abuse of the elderly and then we will discuss this some more.
I
would like you to keep in mind our opening text; there is also one more we need
to read before we discuss this topic some more. Turn with me to Proverbs 23:22.
Solomon writes to his son to “harken to your Father who begot you and do not
despite your mother when she is old” (KJV). The Message Bible paraphrase makes
it even more understandable: “Listen with respect to the father who raised
you, and when your mother grows old, don't neglect her.”
This
afternoon we will share with you a seminar and PowerPoint on this topic of
abuse of the elderly, and what we can do to help. We’ll give you much more
information and handouts so that you can understand the dangers of this
problem. But for now let me share with you a few facts about this problem of
abuse of the elderly and what God says about it.
According
to the World Health Organization, abuse and neglect of older adults can be a
single or a repeated act. It can occur in any relationship where there is an
expectation of trust or where a person is in a position of power or authority.
This
abuse can be physical (such as hitting), emotional, verbal (such as name
calling, putting down), financial (such as taking money or property), sexual,
or spiritual. Some types of abuse of older adults involve violation of their
rights. Financial abuse is probably the most common form of abuse of the
elderly. And just as the young man in Mark’s story abused his parents in the
name of religion, today religious people sometimes abuse their
parents—sometimes intentionally, sometimes without thought.
As
mentioned in Proverbs, neglect is also abuse. This would involve not doing
something, such as providing the older person with food, shelter, medication,
care, or meaningful and personal contact.
Many
older adults experience more than one form of abuse and neglect. The
perpetrators may be children, a spouse, or even grandchildren. But it can also
include friends, neighbors, care providers, landlords, or any individual in a
position of power, trust, or authority. It can take place in the home, in a
residential care setting (such as a nursing home), or in the community.
Now
let’s go back to the story we found in Mark 7.
Would
you consider what this man did to his parents as abuse? Well maybe you would
and maybe you wouldn’t, but Jesus did as you see in this text. Jesus said that
the Pharisees had made “the word of God of none effect through your tradition…”
(vs 13). It is clear that it is the duty of children, if their parents are
poor, to relieve them as far as they are able; and if children deserve to die
who curse their parents as Jesus quoted in verse 10 (Exodus 21:17 and Leviticus
20:9), how much more those that starve them, ignore them, or abuse them in any
other manner.
The
basic element of abuse of the elderly is disrespect for and disregard of those
who are now considered older persons. There are some cultures where the elderly
are highly regarded, where they are honored and respected. Unfortunately, some
of those cultural values are becoming more rare. But in other countries when a person reaches
a certain age it seems as if they have outlived their usefulness. They are seen
as persons who have nothing to contribute any more; they are problematic and
children and other family members would be happy to get rid of them. They are
just too much trouble.
These
sound like harsh words but we are dealing with what is a real problem for our
senior citizens.
What
does God expect of us? The commandment tells us to honor our parents. In Leviticus 19:32 we read "Rise up in
the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I
am the Lord" (NIV).
What
does it mean to honor and respect the elderly?
It means a feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward
somebody or something, consideration or thoughtfulness, to treat a person with
due care, regard, obedience, and courtesy.
The
Bible gives us many examples of the manner in which God treated the elderly.
These persons were advanced in age, yet God honored them.
The
first person that comes to mind is Abraham. When God promised Abraham to make a
great nation through him, Abraham was 75 years old. God could have used a
younger man, maybe
The
kind of person that God needed, he found in Abraham. The belief in God, the
obedience to His every Word that Abraham possessed comes only as we mature. In
Job 12:12 it says, “With the ancient is wisdom; and in length of days
understanding.”
Then
there is Moses. Have you ever considered why God allowed Moses to spend forty
years looking after sheep before sending him to
Let’s
consider Noah. God called Noah when he was 600 years old. It is interesting to
note that Noah had three able bodied sons. They were many years younger than
Noah, strong and fit and quite able to do as God needed. Yet God chose Noah,
the senior citizen. By doing this God showed respect for the elderly because He
gave Noah the vision, the idea, the revelation of what would happen. To his
sons was given the role of being Noah’s support and strength. But the message
came to Noah.
As
you read your Bible you will find many such examples. Let me share with you one
more, John the beloved disciple. We know that Jesus enjoyed his youthfulness
and did much to encourage him. But at what point in John’s life did God give
John the revelation of the future?
E.G.
White writes:
“The history of John affords a striking illustration
of the way in which God can use aged workers. When John was exiled to the Isle
of Patmos, there were many who thought him to be past service, an old and
broken reed, ready to fall at any time. But the Lord saw fit to use him still.
Though banished from the scenes of his former labor, he did not cease to bear
witness to the truth. Even in
Amazing
isn’t it? What a wonderful example of God’s respect for the elderly. He may
have been aged and enfeebled, but John was enriched with the experiences of his
lifelong walk with God.
We
read again on that same page from Ellen White that the elderly “may have made
mistakes, but from their failures they have learned to avoid errors and
dangers. . . . They have borne test and trial, and though they have lost some
of their vigor, the Lord does not lay them aside. He gives them special grace
and wisdom.
We
also find the story of Elisha and the bears—what happens when the elderly are
not respected. Elisha was apparently old, or at least approaching old age because
we are told he was bald. When some youths made fun of him, they were killed by
bears. Of course God would not want anyone making fun of His prophet, but He
also wanted them to respect age (2 Kings 2:23-25).
In
both the Old and New Testament there are many admonitions to care for the
destitute, and widows are mentioned often; by definition, many widows are
elderly. Throughout Jesus’ ministry, He was particularly attuned to the needs
of widows, raising to life the son of one widow, healing others, and showing
respect and honor for the widow who gave her two mites.
Is
it still God’s intention that we regard the elderly with respect? The Bible
says that God does not change; based on this alone we can answer confidently
that it is still God’s intention that we treat the elderly with respect and
honor.
E.
G. White tells us in the book Daughters of God
(pg. 199) that God holds each child responsible if they neglect the care
of their parents, and He notes of their disregard for their parents.
I
know many of you may be patting yourselves on the back thinking that you have
never hit your parents nor denied them the care they needed. But have you
raised your voice to them in anger? Have you called them unkind words or names?
Have you sat in a bus seat and left an elderly person standing? Do we neglect
to seek their advice, or do we feel they are old fashioned and outdated in
their thinking and do not understand the times in which they live? If you are
not sure, ask them. Let them tell you what they see, hear, and feel. Psalm 71: 9 and 18 sums up pretty well what
many senior citizens would say to us: “Do not cast me away when I am old; do
not forsake me when my strength is gone. Even when I am old and gray, do not
forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might
to all who are to come” (NIV).
We
have neglected our elderly for too long. Our young people are missing the
wisdom and gifts of the elderly. They will treat them as we do. Look at how
many senior citizens in your church are involved in the work of the church in
any way they can. Many of them want to love us and share with the wisdom of
their lives. Take some time to get to know them; you may be amazed at their
sense of humor and wisdom.
We
need to look at this problem as individual families, and we need to look at it
as a church.
In
our families, are we seeing to it that our elderly relatives are being cared
for? Perhaps past hurts have separated us. But that does not justify our
neglecting them now. In Bible times they did not have old age insurance or
pensions or any type of government social security as many countries do now.
But we still need to see that they have comfort and joy in their old age. In
the
As a
church, what are we doing for our elderly members, particularly the shut-ins.
Does anyone provide transportation for them if that is needed? Do we visit
them? Is Communion taken to them if they are unable to attend services? Does
anyone check that they are receiving the care they deserve? How about helping
with their house work or yard, or repairs to their home?
We
have neglected them for too long and God is calling us today, at this time, to
honor our parents and respect the elderly.
Returning
once again to the text we looked at earlier in Proverbs 22, let us read once
again, and read the verses that follow as well; in the Message Bible, we read:
”Listen with respect to the father who raised you, and when your mother grows
old, don't neglect her. Buy truth—don't sell it for love or money; buy wisdom,
buy education, buy insight. Parents rejoice when their children turn out well;
wise children become proud parents. So make your father happy! Make your mother
proud!”
Whether
abuse of the elderly is from greed—we think we can get their money—or it is
because of anger, retaliation, or just plain old sin, it hurts everyone.
Conversely, treating the elderly well, whether it is parents, others in our
care, or church members well, we are all blessed. And that is what God wants
for us. That is why He gave the Commandment, “Honor thy father and thy mother”
in the first place. And that is why He rebuked the Pharisees in our story in
Mark. He does not want anything to side-track His divine plan. Even today He
says to us, stop the abuse of the elderly.
Regard
(treat with honor, due obedience, and courtesy) your father and mother, that
your days may be long in the land the Lord your God gives you (Exodus 20:12,
Amplified). Then we can do as it says in Psalm 148:12, 13, “Both young men, and
maidens; old men, and children: Let them praise the name of the LORD: for his
name alone is excellent; his glory is above the earth and heaven.”
In
the last days of earth’s history, the culmination of time, the young and the
elderly work together. We read in Joel 2:28 and 29 (NIV):
"And afterward,
I
will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your
sons and daughters will prophesy,
your
old men will dream dreams,
your
young men will see visions.
Even on my servants, both men
and women,
I
will pour out my Spirit in those days.
God
does not cast off, ignore, or “write-off” the elderly. He appreciates, empowers,
respects, and values them. So should we.
Children’s
Story
By Deena
Bartel-Wagner
Tony
slumped in his seat and groaned. What
could Mr. Sanders be thinking? A field
trip to the
“Yeah,”
agreed Joey. “Besides that, old people
smell funny and half the time they can’t hear what you are saying!”
“What
makes this even worse is the assignment Mr. Sanders gave us to do ahead of
time,” said Tony. “How am I going to
think up questions to ask these people?
I understand that he wants us to learn about having respect for people
older than us, but having to talk to them just seems scary.”
Every
time Tony and Joey talked about what they would do and say Tony felt like there
was a boulder lodged in his stomach. He
was worried that he’d be trapped at the senior center with nothing to say to
the people and they’d just sit and stare at each other.
The
days passed and finally field trip day had arrived. Sitting on the bus and
staring out the window, Tony sighed as they pulled into the parking lot. Mr. Sanders stood up at the front of the bus
and made one last announcement. “When
you get inside, you’ll be introduced to the person you are assigned to for
today. Remember that your assignment is
to learn about them and what their lives have been like.”
Tony
hung back and made sure he was at the end of the line as the students filed
into the center. “Maybe there won’t be
enough people to go around and I won’t have to talk to anyone,” Tony thought
silently.
It
didn’t take long for all of the students to find their partner and soon Tony
was being led over to a man sitting near the window. “Tony, I’d like you to meet George,” said Mr.
Sanders. “I think you are going to have
a great time getting to know him.”
“Yeah,
right,” Tony mumbled, “Whatever.”
“Hello
there, young man,” said George. “From
the looks of your face, I’d say you don’t want to be here.”
Even
though he was startled by what George said, Tony shrugged his shoulders and
said, “You’re right. I don’t.”
“Let
me guess,” said George. “You think we
don’t have anything in common, we can’t see and even worse we smell funny.”
Tony’s
mouth dropped open. “How’d you know Joey
and I talked about that?”
George
laughed, “Tony, we’re not so different.
When I was a boy your age I thought the same thing about old
people. So see we have at least one
thing in common.”
Tony
sat down in the chair next to George.
“Maybe this won’t be so bad after all,” he said. “So tell me what it’s like being old.”
George
sighed. “You know many people forget
that people my age were young once. They
don’t remember that we could move quickly and hear things easily. We even liked to have fun!”
“What
did you do for fun?” Tony asked.
“When
I was your age, I loved to play soccer,” said George. As Tony listened to
George’s
stories, he forgot about being nervous.
“You
look like you are having a good time after all,” George said.
“I
guess I am,” Tony admitted. “We have a
lot more in common than I thought we would.”
“That’s
the problem with many people,” said George.
“They see someone who is older than them and think they don’t have
anything to talk about. That can lead to
all kinds of problems.”
“What
do you mean?” asked Tony.
“Not
talking can lead to misunderstandings,” said George. “I have friends who have had people mistreat
them because they didn’t have any respect for older people. The disrespect comes because they’ve never
learned that older people are just like them.
Instead they are scared of them or they see them as an easy target. Some of my friends have been pushed on
buses. Others have been hit or slapped,
even by their own children. I had one
friend who ended up in the hospital with broken bones because a gang didn’t
like it that he was walking down the sidewalk.”
“Wow! I didn’t know things like that happened to
people just because they were older,” said Tony. “It’s not right for someone to pick on you
just because of your age. Is there
anything I can do about it?”
“Sure
there is,” answered George. “You’ve made
a good start today. Just coming and
getting to know me will help you understand that people my age have
feelings. Sometimes we may be having a
bad day because we have more aches and pains, but we still like company.
“You
can also help your friends to understand how important it is to show respect to
us. You know the Bible talks about
showing respect to those older than you and that this will help you to have a
happier life.”
“I
see what you mean,” said Tony. “I guess
Mr. Sanders had a pretty good idea about having us come here today. I’m going to talk to some of my other friends
who aren’t here. I want them to understand what I learned today. I’ve got one
other question for you, though.”
“What’s
that?” asked George.
“Could
we get together again,” asked Tony.
“Is
this another class assignment?” asked George.
“No,
I just want to hang out with you and see what else I can learn,” said Tony with
a grin.
“Sounds
good to me,” said George. “I’ll
introduce you to some of my other friends.
I know you’re going to like them, too.”
Activities to teach Elder Respect
1.
Using a tape
recorder, interview the senior citizens in your congregation. Ask them to tell you one story about their
lives when they knew God was leading them.
Some questions the children can also ask include when and where were you
born? Who were your parents and
grandparents? What do you remember about
them? Did you have brothers and
sisters? What do you remember best about
them? What are some of the things you
remember enjoying while you were growing up?
What was your most exciting adventure?
2.
Plan a story
booking party. Use paper, crayons,
markers and other art supplies. Have
students and seniors make storybooks about one event in their lives that was
really important to them. Split the
group into teams and have them share the stories and books with each other.
3.
Organize a group
of children and seniors to have special music together in church. Plan practice times and pick a song that everyone
can learn and sing together. Some
suggestions include Jesus Loves Me; This Little Light of Mine; or Bless Be the
Tie that Binds.
4.
Role-play the
following and see how the children would react.
After the role-playing ask the children to discuss their feelings. How did the child who lived next to the
elderly couple feel? How did the friends
feel? When you make fun of someone who
is older what does this take away from you?
5.
Have one child
imagine that he lives near an elderly couple. Two or three of his friends are
visiting him and they see the two old people. The friends start making fun of
the elderly people behind their backs. Ask the child “What, if anything, do you
say to your friends? What might happen if your neighbors overhear what is going
on?”
6.
Help students
who are interested in music create rhythm instruments such as maracas, wooden
clappers, and music mitts. Then form a band with the students and the older
members of your congregation. Practice
and play special music on Sabbath.
7.
If you have
students interested in sewing, help them make "lap robe quilts" and
deliver to an elder care home. Use this
as an activity to introduce the children one-on-one to residents they can adopt
as a “grandparent.” Plan other
activities that aren’t just tied to the holidays.
8.
If you have
students who are artists, have them create a mural of the young and the elderly
in your church congregation. Celebrate
all of the age groups by having an unveiling on a Sabbath when your service
gives special recognition to the wisdom and leadership of those who are in the
winter stages of their lives.
9.
Have several
elderly members of your congregation meet with your students and talk about the
challenges they face everyday-difficulty buttoning buttons, opening tight lids
on jars, turning the handle of a can opener, getting in and out of the tub,
bending over to pick something up, etc.
Other ideas they can talk about include the challenge of how younger
people tend to ignore their wisdom and advice; being lonely; being fearful of
scams and abuse. Have them also talk
about some of the positive things about being older-they can travel; more free
time to do the things they like; can volunteer to help in the community, etc.
Children’s
Handout
Children’s Activities
or
CIRCLE the smiley
face if the behavior toward the elderly is respectful and a frowning face if
the behavior is wrong.
1. Give up your seat for an elderly gentleman.
2. Punch your grandma when she refuses to give
you money.
3. Make fun of the way old people walk and talk.
4. Help an elderly couple cross the street.
5. Read to an old
neighbor who cannot see clearly.
UNSCRAMBLE the
letters to find out what the Bible says how we should treat each other.
Ephesians 4:32 James 5:16
John 15:17 1 Corinthians 12:15
SEMINAR
Abuse of the Elderly
Slide 1:
Introduction
Recently a newspaper
instanced that child abuse is rising in the
There seems to be two views
of age in today's society. The most prevalent view seems to be that of repulsion.
Age is looked upon as an incurable disease. We fight against aging, we do not
want to be reminded of what time can do to us. Thus, the aged elderly person is
cast from society. They are made to feel useless, a burden to family, and often
are cast off, avoided except on rare occasions of birthdays and Christmas
morning. Another view is that age is beautiful. That age demands respect and
dignity. That the elderly are giants of the forest, wise, full of experience,
worthy of our praise and adoration. This is the view the Bible holds on age.
Slide 2:
Every person-every man,
woman, and child-deserves to be treated with respect and with caring.